This Book is Trash
by mistafelees
Summary: Albus meets a boy on the train, who he hopes is no sadist, and who couldn't possibly belong anywhere, Albus hopes, besides Gryffindor.
1. Chapter 1: Albus's Hero

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Chapter 1

Albus's Hero

Albus was in a state of extreme elation, from the moment he started loading his suitcases into the train car until the moment he sat down, finally, on it's suede covered upholstery.

He had worried for weeks over the terror of finding himself in the wrong house in Hogwarts, largely being Slytherin, and having to find out that he was actually mean, or cowardly deep down because of it. He wanted to be in Gryffindor!, the house of the heroes, the saints, and the thought of not getting into that high place had haunted him.

Albus stood up in his train seat, above the accumulation of suitcases and bags around him and leaned his neck out of the window, putting his hand to his brow.

"Hey! It's Albus! Over here!"

Albus waved.

His sister Lily staggered forward slightly as she waved through the smoke left behind from the engine and Albus' parents stood still talking to his uncles and aunts behind her. Even Lily had lost his place on the train by that point and had been waving, really Albus guessed at no one. But, once she caught his eye again her hand started moving more fiercely, and she called out to him loudly. Albus smiled and waved back, while the rest of his family looked away from the people they were talking to and started to stretch out their necks like turtles to search for him. Albus's father caught his eye, Albus thought, and Albus grinned again, feeling a rush of excitement well up inside of him.

The sorting hat would consider his wishes, his father had said. He might have a much more fair chance of getting into a house besides Slytherin, maybe even Gryffindor.

Albus would make sure to thank the man later.

Albus saw Lily turn to look at her mother as they got smaller and smaller, and he saw his parents resume talking. Then he slipped back into his train seat uncomfortably.

Everyplace around him was filled with books, bags and animal enclosures, some of which belonged to Albus, some to his cousin Rose, some to a family friend Lysander, and some to James, Albus' brother. James had begun to call Albus Salazar, the founder of Slytherin, when their parents weren't around, and he had said this offhandedly to Albus before he had left the cabin. —

"Shut up," Albus had answered, drolly. He was tired of it, obviously, and did not want to deal with an argument at the moment. Rose however had gotten up in her seat.

"Go away James." she spat loudly.

"As you wish Buttercup." James replied, bowing grandly. He then put his hand to his stomach and pretended to puke theatrically.

"That is-" Rose started to say, but then James stood up straight, wiped his mouth and laughed with that weird girlish smile of his, before bolting down the hallway before she could finish.

"Sorry about that. I'll tell him something when I catch up with him." Lysander had assured them with a suspicious grin on his face, and then followed James.

James that prick. Albus would remember to thank, Rose too, later.

Albus moved his cousin Rose's toad's terrarium off the seat next to him, and put his legs up on the space left there, moving his cousin's toad's tank on top of them.

The cousin in question, or Rose, now no longer miffed about the earlier ordeal, exactly, sat stiffly between two open books and underneath a different one, looking a bit frazzled, as a lighter way of putting it. Her eyes seemed like they were trying to follow the path of a cup with a stone under it, like in the old army game, or whatever they called it.

Albus bent over towards his toes while holding the terrarium on his knee with one hand, and started rummaging through the the book bag near his shins. What he was looking for wasn't food, but he found some, along with something else in his hand as he sat up again.

"Are you hungry?" asked Albus.

"No."

Rose said this loudly and with intonation as if she was annoyed, her eyes shooting up in his direction and then back down at her books as she started flapping through the pages again.

Albus looked up at Rose with his eyes narrowed and pulled out a sandwich his mother had made him before he'd left out of the bag, along with his new wand which he had kept in a pocket at the bottom.

"Fine." he replied coldly.

Albus fixed himself in his seat slightly, feeling a bit irritated, and mulled over what had happened in his head.

 _There was no reason to be rude._ he thought.

He turned his head backwards to look out the window.

Outside, mountains had started to bump up like ripples. Most of them were round topped or jagged. There was an abundance of trees too below them, which thankfully, were not close enough to obscure the view, since the train was on a mountain itself.

They had came from the middle of the city to somewhere in the countryside, probably Scotland.

Nothing unusual here, he thought.

He wondered what it had been like for his father.

The man might have still been wary about magic at that point, since he had only found out it existed maybe a week before, and he had probably been astounded by almost everything around him. It made Albus smile to think of his father's reaction, having his shoes tie themselves for the first time. As Albus looked backward out of the window behind him, he tapped his wand on the glass, watching it spark up suddenly, in annoyance maybe? He chuckled again as he remembered the wand was supposedly a reflection of his own character, a response which told him either that he had a temper, or that he was excitable. He wondered, or at least pretended to wonder, with his face all scrunched up in mock hard thought, which of the traits it had shown although he knew already, and he snickered to himself slightly.

He wondered if wands were alive like people in moving wizard pictures were alive or alive as in human alive. This question intrigued him, and he spent a few minutes thinking about it.

Albus felt relieved of his previous annoyance for a moment as he looked at the landscape, and when he heard Rose let out a sigh of exhaustion Albus looked up at her, no longer feeling any irritation. Rose was bent over, her large hair all afloat about her, and she was now writing quickly and feverishly. Rose was a pretty girl Albus thought. She was black, like her mother, but not only somewhat black, but really black. The traits are passed down like this sometimes, where you can be usual black, even with a white parent. It was partly because she was black that she was beautiful, Albus thought.

Although Albus could say Rose's harried behavior was due to nerves, an understandable explanation considering both she and Albus would be going to wizard dorm school for the first time, Albus supposed it was more likely Rose's irritability was due to something a bit more complicated. In fact it nearly, most definitely was.

Albus remembered, what happened just before he and Rose had boarded the train, when the two had been talking about whether or not they would be willing to adopt a Runespoor, a three headed magical, beautiful creature, and Rose's father, uncle Ron had pointed a boy out in the crowd. Ron quickly leaned over and smiled, looking at them, and told Rose a little in a joking way to make sure to beat this boy in any tests at school. Then, after a few seconds of silent confusion from both his daughter and Albus, who had been listening, he stood up looking at the other parents, and stopped talking to Rose completely. He did not continue to explain why Rose should beat this boy in class, or who the boy was, but instead smiled cheekily at Albus's father while Rose's mother chided him for his preemptive ostracism. Albus' parents laughed slightly in reply, as if it was a joke to them somehow, while Rose still in a sort of shock, looked over at the boy, and then back at her father incredulously. Then Albus, following her gaze looked over as well.

The boy was pale, very pale, like bone china cups, and his hair was whitish blonde. He held a resemblance to the man next to him in the crowd, who was probably his father, and a woman who was probably his mother stood next to him telling him something. Albus had only a glimpse at the boys eyes, and they were grey, like storm clouds.

He did not know the boy either.

Neither Albus, nor Rose decided to ask about it. The story probably was a bit too uncomfortable for the parents to tell, and the parents probably did not feel like the story was worth telling them. Rose maybe felt this way too since she never asked the adults anything about it either.

The incident was still strange however, and after that, Albus and Rose buzzed out like an old television, or at least it looked like they did from the outside. Rose quickly stopped talking to Albus and stared into space like she was thinking, while Albus, like a M16 operative or an auror, he thought, and which he decided he might be one day, watched the strangers through his peripheral while he was waiting for the signal from his parents to get on the train. That was probably when Rose first started acting strangely, although Albus guessed he would have seemed a bit strange too if he had seen himself too from the outside, zoning out alongside Rose like that, but Albus knew Rose better of course, and Rose knew Albus. They were not strange. They, just like everyone else, Albus thought, had their own kind of 'perfect' functioning.

The family Albus had been spying on seemed quite normal Albus noted, as Albus thought they should. Just because they shared some history with Rose and his family would not mean they were publicly rambunctious. He might have been working up the situation into a bigger conspiracy than it actually was, looking back on it. However one odd thing he did notice was that the father of the boy kept looking in Albus's family's direction, or at least he kept looking at Albus's father. This would be somewhat normal, seeing as Albus's father was famous, and Albus knew that, from having visitors from the ministry every few years or so come to his house all in a dither, exclaiming their honor at finally meeting the great Harry Potter, the wizard who had defeated, his father told him to say it, Voldemort. However, the father of the boy seemed to only make nervous, quick glances, and he looked desperate somehow, like he wanted to tell them something. This made Albus even more curious, but by the time he had decided that maybe the family was worth asking about, it had been time to get on the train.

Whatever Rose was worried about probably did not have to do directly with who the boy was in particular. Rather it was the fact that her father had reminded her that she now had a rival, which was only a newer, more invasive way of telling her to study harder, like a starving kelpie for a man to drown. This cue was probably what had started Rose on her ardent studying streak, probably. Albus didn't ask.

Albus hoped Rose didn't think he was annoying from earlier, and he dug his nail against his palm nervously. Then, thinking of something else, Albus placed his half eaten sandwich back into his pack on the floor and dug his hand in it again to fetch out a change of clothes. Once he had found them he got up out of his seat, placing the terrarium which had been on his lap back onto the seat, and maneuvered around to the door.

"Going to change already?" Rose asked.

Albus turned to look at her and paused as if he had just heard something phenomenal, yet quiet, and needed to listen to hear more.

"Umm. Well. . . Yes. And I also thought of just going out somewhere I guess. Nowhere specific."

"Ok." Rose replied to him. She then smiled quickly and turned back to what she had been working on, as if the day had been sunshine and roses to her.

Albus stepped out and closed the door behind him a bit bewildered to say the least. Was that an apology? He smiled slightly as he started to walk forward, glad the argument was over really, and headed toward the lavatory to get dressed.

Luckily, the place wasn't a normal lavatory. The space inside had been distorted and expanded so that it was only large on the inside, and as big as a closet from the out. There were several changing rooms in it too, like he was in a clothing store, and this made it easier for him to get in and out in a hurry. He wondered what they had done with all of the toilets, if there had been any. He wondered why the whole train hadn't been expanded into a giant flying magic powered mansion, but knew the answer to this already, and that was because magic was hard.

Albus decided to walk down the hallway towards the control room, with the conductor, and he thought that maybe, he might actually be able to go there, although there was not any other destination Albus thought he could consider. However, Albus felt he did not want to go back to the room with Rose either, after feeling the refreshing wind swirl through the train hallway.

Albus looked into the rooms as he went past them, and tried to see if he could recognize any of his cousins. There was a Albus passed about eight cabins, all seemingly first years and second until he came to one room that, unusually, was empty with no one in it. It was peacefully quiet inside the bright place, although Albus could hear noise from all the cabins around him, and this made the room seem like a little calm cove at the beach with the ocean raging around it.

Albus sat in one of the seats in the cabin and started to play with his wand. It wouldn't make any sparks this time, no matter how much he twirled it, but he was too afraid to tap it on the window again, lest it hate him, so he just kept making his arm move about wildly, hoping it would do something. He wanted to act out something, so he decided to pretend he was at the scene where his father first met Voldemort at the battle of Hogwarts, and where his father had pretended to die. Albus got up and stood in what he thought was a dueling position. He sent a spell. He sent another. Whack! Whack! He could see the enemy, the brute falter! They were stepping back, stepping back. Albus swung back his arm for his last blow, and then wham!. . . The evil man had got him. Albus fell backwards onto the seat again, his eyes closed in mock of mock death, and laughed slightly at the ridiculousness of this scenario. Then Albus opened his eyes.

There was a boy in the grate above him.

A/N: Sometimes I have trouble uploading things to this site. If a while passes and there are no updates check the tumblr blog mistafelees.


	2. Chapter 2: A Handful of Sadists

Chapter 2

A handful of sadists

Albus heard himself say, "Hello."

"Hi."

"Why are you in the overhead compartment?"

Albus stood up out of his seat, as the boy got into a sitting position simultaneously. It was the boy from the station.

"Because it's quite nice actually."

Albus raised his eyebrows in astonishment.

"Are you hiding from teachers?" Albus asked.

The boy hesitated.

"Don't tell anyone."

"If you don't tell me why you are hiding up there I will.

"Why do you need to know anyway? I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"I don't know that."

"Well. What do you mean?"

"Well there are a lot of sadists out there."

The boy was silent for a moment.

"I don't think so."

"Well I think so."

"Well. You might be wrong this time."

"Alright." Albus made what he thought was a authoritative pose and narrowed his eyebrows like he was his mother when she was angry.

"So tell me what you're in trouble for."

The boy stared at him like he was trying to make him blink.

"How do I know you won't tell on me no matter what it is?"

"Well. I have an agenda against absolute authority so I let the okay things slide."

The boy kept looking at him.

"So you won't tell on me if it's not too bad?"

"I won't."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay fine then. But if you want me to tell you you have to be up here. Can you come up?"

Albus looked at the grate and then at the seat below, falling out of his tough guy position as he thought about the question.

"How?"

"Well first you have to kind of grab onto the grating here, and use the lining on the window pane to sort of-"

He looked back at Albus.

"No?"

There was silence.

"No."

"Well okay then. Um. Um. Okay.", the boy said, and for a few seconds he was quiet. "I know how we can do this, but you have to be the lookout."

"I don't want to be your accomplice."

The boy jumped down as Albus said this and pointed to the hallway on the other side of the door.

"Here. You sit there, and I'll sit here."

"No."

"Then do you want to throw an innocent man in jail?"

Albus paused.

"No."

"This is the only way I can do this."

"Is it now?"

"Yes. Look. If they walk up to you and stop to ask you what you are doing I'll be gone."

"What do you mean?"

The boy was quiet for a moment as he smiled at Albus, like he was feeling cautious again, and then he pointed out the window.

"I'll be out there. I can scale this train."

"No way." said Albus. He was grinning broadly.

"That's really dangerous."

"I can do it though."

"If you do, I'll tell on you."

Albus tried to get his face back to normal.

"If you do you'll get in trouble for associating with me." said the boy.

Albus started again to grin but stopped himself.

"No way. I mean, is this really worth all of this?"

The boy dug into his pocket and pulled out a medium sized, brown pouch.

"Know what this is?"

"Well. . . a pouch?"

"Well. Sort of yes." the boy said. He opened it and started to pull out a surprisingly large fixture. The object was much larger than it seemed the bag could contain, but it was not so wide that it could not fit through the top of the bag when the drawstring was loosened.

"You brought an extendable pouch?"

"Yep."

"And what's that?"

"This is a. . . well I don't really know what it is. But it should come in handy."

The item was a staff, a golden one which had a sort of diamond shaped structure at the top. The structure frayed out at the edges, in a large teeth like pattern, and there was a crystal floating in the centre, which was blue. The boy put the staff back into the bag.

"Then I have this. And I sort of know what this is. It's a game. Though I really don't have any idea on how to play it."

The boy unlocked the clasp on top of what seemed to be an old wooden game board box and opened it up from the middle. There was a large, black circle in the center, and little white paths which squiggled and crossed each other all about the the sides of it. The boy closed the board up again, locked it and put it back in the bag.

"Then, there's this. This is the last thing."

This time the object was simpler, and less intriguing. It was a very small, black chest that could fit in your hand.

"My dad seems to treat it like it's important, even more so than the others actually, sitting up in it's high pedestal, in the room there, but I really don't know what to do with it."

The boy tried prying at the lid for a moment, seeming to use up a lot of strength.

"And I can't open it. That's another thing."

The boy put the small box back into the pouch.

"And that's about it. So you see. I'm not some sadist. I just got some goods is all."

"Alright. I believe you. But why are you hiding? I mean, they check your bags, but they don't really do so until you reach Hogwarts."

"Well. You see-"

"Mayday." Albus whispered through gritted teeth. "Someone's coming."

"What do they look like? Are they a woman?"

"Yes-" Albus began, but he didn't finish because the boy had turned around and was already crawling over the top of the window. Albus got up and followed after him. The boy turned to look back at him from the other side.

"Here." he said and handed the pouch to Albus. "They can't detect what's inside. There is a barrier."

"What? You can't just give this to me. Wait." he whispered loudly, as he watched the boy step up onto the top of the open window pane and hoist himself onto the top of the train car.

"Wait." Albus said again, but no one answered. Albus quickly shoved the pouch into his robe pocket and put his hands behind his head, like he was enjoying the scenery. For a moment it was quiet, until he heard footsteps at the door.

No one said anything for the first few seconds.

"Albus Potter. That is your name correct?"

Albus turned around in mock surprise to look at the woman. He made his look of shock a bit too great, without noticing.

"Yes. I'm Albus Potter. And who are you?"

The woman had short blonde hair, and a pixie face. She was an adult obviously, but she was a young adult, possibly in her twenties.

The woman smiled graciously.

"Well. You'll be learning my name soon enough. What are you doing here in this empty room? The place was packed as far as I knew."

"I don't know. I just found it. It's strange isn't it? But see, in here I can much better enjoy the scenery, with no people around. Care to join me?"

"No thank you Albus dear. I am busy on my rounds. But I am wondering, have you seen a small white haired boy around here about your age?"

"No. Can't say I have. Maybe I'll see him later. Why is that?"

"Well. It's nothing really. Just some family issues you see. He won't let me see him, because he does not want to see his mother and you see I have got a telegram here for him."

She was suddenly holding one of those old rotary phones, except it did not have any receiver.

"He won't talk to his mother? That's a shame. Is it an important call?"

"Well yes. You see she is leaving for Tibet, and she won't have much way of communicating with him once she gets there."

"Oh Tibet. A fine country. Wish I could go there someday."

"Indeed yes. But where to find the money, or the transport?"

Albus changed the subject.

"So then are you close with the family?"

The woman paused for a moment, and the smile she had been wearing disappeared. Then she seemed to collect herself.

"Oh. Not at all really. Just a friend that comes by every now and then. Thankyou anyway though. I have to walk some more around the train, you know, teacher's duty."

"Oh yes. Indeed. Goodbye then."

"Goodbye."

The woman smiled one last time and hurriedly walked out the door, and the old rotary phone vanished right with her.


	3. Chapter 3: The Sorting Hat

Chapter 3

The Sorting Hat

Albus spent the rest of the train ride sitting in his seat in the cove room, thinking.

Who was that woman? How did she know the boy? What was the boy's name, for heaven's sake. He didn't know that either. Albus wondered how the boy had managed to clear the room completely so no one could come in. Had he blocked the doors? Had he put up a sign? That was another, less important maybe, but possibly even bigger mystery Albus realized, but which he could not figure out.

Albus had begun to pace, thinking about all of these things when the train's horn blew, and they had arrived at Hogwarts. Students started to usher through the hallways and Albus stepped out into a crowd filled with excited witches and wizards, ready to get off the train.

"All belongings are to be left in your cabins, including your animals. Do not leave the train with them."

The voice was loud and thunder like, and it came from outside on the platform. It was Hagrid! Albus knew it. The thought of seeing the old half giant almost made Albus forget his troubles though, he didn't, and he quickly placed his hand back in his pocket, where the pouch was as he was hurried out of the train. He saw the old man immediately.

"Hagrid!" he shouted, and ran over to him.

"Albus! M'boy!"

Hagrid went in for a big bear hug, but Albus avoided him.

"No hugs as always huh Al?"

"None here."

Hagrid tutted humorously and Albus smiled up at him in response.

Then Albus saw Rose get out of the train.

She looked a bit weary, but she was all smiles when she saw Hagrid. Rose ran over to them looking giddy.

"How have you been Hagrid?" she asked politely.

"Been well."

"Have the thestrals been behaving themselves?"

"As good as ever."

"That's good. Can you show us to our next destination?"

"Not yet Rose. I still have some students to get out of here first before I can do anything else."

"Alright then can you tell us where to go?"

"Yes. Well. We got some boats there, if you want to go see what that's all about."

They heard a tired voice from behind them.

"Ready as ever. When are we going to go?"

This time it was a girl who Albus did not know, stepping up next to them.

"We'll be going in about thirty minutes. Just wait a bit won't yah? They've got to carry out all yur luggage."

"Alright. Well. I've already been waiting for two hours so I hope they don't take long."

"Well said." answered, now a fifth voice. "I'm aching all over."

This time it was a boy, who was a bit bulky, though he was not fat, and he was tall.

"What's your name?"

He was looking at the girl.

"I'm Emilene Grace. What's your name?"

"I'm Goukas. Goukas Goodfellow."

The students waited for a bit, telling each other what they knew about the place until they heard a call.

"Alright! Time to get on the boats!" Albus turned to look for where the sound was coming from. This time the voice was a bit feebler, and hoarse.

"Time to go." said Hagrid, and he directed them towards the loading docks.

Rose stepped first, ahead of all of them, and got to one of the boats first.

"Come on Albus. This one's empty."

"Okay." Albus shrugged and stepped on the boat next to her. The two kids from the platform stepped up too.

"There's room for four." said the girl, Emilene.

"Okay." said Rose, looking a bit displeased.

"Hagrid are you coming across on a boat?"

"Yep. I have got my own."

Hagrid stepped into a boat next to theirs which immediately sank several centimetres. The students waited for the rest of the first years to get on their boats, and then once the last toe left the platform, the boats were off like a parade of toe dancers. Albus knew what these were from a book, but toe dancers were women who walked on their toes while wearing long poufy dresses, making it appear as if they were floating.

At first all the students could see was fog, but then at one point, their surroundings changed and they could suddenly see the castle in all it's glory. The lights were on in all of the rooms it seemed so it was like the place was hiding one big sun in it's belly.

As they got even closer however, they saw something huge in the water. Some students screamed, and Emilene Grace backed far into Goukas and Albus who was behind her.

"Don't yeh worry! It's just the squid sayin' hello!" Hagrid shouted from his boat a while behind them.

Albus took to the task of calming down Emilene.

"It's fine. The bigger the creature the more docile usually. Like with dogs."

"Okay." Emilene whimpered.

Rose looked down at Emilene heatedly.

Albus dipped his hand in the water.

"It's fine. See?"

Emilene nodded as Rose leaned over to dip her hand in the water too. The water was cold and icy.

"Hey Hagrid! Why is the water cold?" Albus asked. "It's been summer for two months now."

"It's regulated! For the squid!" he answered from far behind them.

Albus took his hand out of the water and rubbed it on his robes.

They were nearing their destination now. Albus could see the students from the higher years step out of their thestral- drawn carriages and run into the entrance of the castle. Albus saw James and Lysander walk up to the door chattering hopelessly, and he thought he saw some of his older cousins too. Dominique and Molly. When the boat hit the dock the students had to grasp onto the posts holding it together to keep the boat steady as Albus cautiously stepped onto the dock. Once Albus had gotten up he held his hand out to help Rose, and then Emilene Grace. Guokas had already gotten up on his own.

The four walked up to the entrance of the castle, along with a few other stragglers and were immediately guided into the entrance hall. Albus and Rose crowded behind a bunch of first years who were forming a kind of circle around a young woman with short, peppy, blonde hair.

"Oh Jesus." Albus said aloud.

As if in answer, the woman began to speak immediately.

"Now I see that you're all here, I will be sorting you into groups. Eldest of our group, that is incoming seventh and sixth, and fifth years can can go on ahead to the great hall. However I would like the prefects to stay behind."

Albus watched as the crowd grew considerably thinner.

"Now then I would like all students in years four and below to find a prefect, and split into groups of four. You will know who the prefects are by their badge."

Albus searched the crowd for a head he'd find familiar.

"Molly! Molly!"

He shouted to his older cousin in the crowd, and she came running over.

"Hi. Could you take us to the Great Hall?"

"Sure thing Albus. Who's in your group? Do you have four?"

"Yeah. I think."

Albus looked at Goukas and Emilene who nodded.

"Okay. Then let's go."

The group started to walk forward with Molly in the lead.

They passed painting after painting of knights and more of women. There were several suits of armour which they passed along the walls, and there were halls, and more halls, and more halls. Finally the students got to the entrance of the great hall and here there were stairs leading up to it. Albus could hear the din of people talking inside as they walked up the steps and stopped at the front entrance. There, when Albus looked inside he saw the boy from before being held by the man with the hoarse voice. Filch. Now Albus remembered. James had had plenty of stories about him.

The boy looked bored, and amused somewhat, like he had held one over on the man. Albus put his hand to his pocket.

"Now those of you who are first years. Please stay in the front of the hall. While the rest can sit themselves at their assorted houses."

It was the lady from the entrance again.

"Please also line yourselves up in alphabetical order. I will have a prefect go through to check that you are correct afterward."

Albus quickly ordered himself somewhere in the middle of the line, behind Rose and the other two, and patiently waited for the ceremony to begin. He saw a woman at the front of the hall rise up to stand in front of a large pedestal. She was old. Albus could tell. But she also didn't seem a day over thirty.

"Attention!"

Her voice quieted the entire hall, and they all turned to look at her as the floating candles overhead swirled and danced above them.

"The ceremony will begin now."

"First years." It was like she was looking directly at Albus now.

"Please come forward and stop at the end of the tables."

Albus saw the line start to move forward and then stop as the first person came to the intended location.

Albus caught sight of James who looked at him and made a form with his fingers on his forehead, which would usually spell 'L' for loser, but now they spelled 'S' for Salazar. The old young woman began again to address the class, her voice quieter, now that she was closer.

"When I call out your name please come forward."

Albus listened as she called out names. There was a lot of Gryffindor! And Hufflepuff! Goukas walked up to the hat and sat there for a minute.

"Hufflepuff!" the hat shouted and Albus watched Goukas go to sit down at that table.

Then Emilene walked up to the podium. She sat there for a few minutes while the hat evaluated her.

"Hmmm. You contrast my values little child. I don't know where to put you. Do you have a choice?" the hat asked.

Emilene shook her head.

"Very well then. Hufflepuff!" the hat shouted into the hall.

Emilene got up and walked to her table. There was a lot of chattering in response to this. Had the hat ever done that before? The hall was loud for a few minutes, and then the woman from before spoke out loudly to calm the hall down.

"Silence! We will have no talking during this process. I had hoped that you all would show some respect, like your predecessors did for you during your sortings."

The woman looked angry, but under control. Then she started to call out names again.

"Matilda Honig!"

A girl with short brown hair walked forward. The girl looked preppy, and well dressed, and she had a little red bow on her head.

"Ravenclaw!" the hat shouted almost immediately.

After that the names started to get really weird. The headmistress shouted, "Loralyvya Kettleburn!" and Albus saw a sprightly girl with pigtails and many freckles walk forward.

"Hufflepuff!" the hat shouted. The headmistress called again.

"Miyuli Macmillan!"

Another hufflepuff.

Then Albus heard the headmistress call another odd name, that was not very likeable but which had a familiar ring to it.

"Scorpius Malfoy!"

Albus watched as the boy from the train was pulled by his ear from the corner of the room and sat on the chair. The boy no longer looked smug, but he was still smiling when they put the hat on his head.

"Slytherin!" the hat called. Albus froze.

Slytherin? Why would a boy like that get into slytherin? He was so cool. Albus remembered from the train car.

Weren't all Slytherins conniving and mean really? Albus looked up at the boy like he was trying to check, but the boy had already left the podium.

"Norman Nott!" the headmistress called out.

"Slytherin!" the hat shouted.

Albus was sweating. What should he do? The next name was called.

"Evgeni Orlyk!"

"Ravenclaw!"

"Albus Potter!"

Albus looked up.

"Come now Potter. We don't have all night." said the headmistress. She looked stern.

Albus walked up the steps and sat down in the chair.

"Can I come back and do this later?"

The headmistess gave him a disapproving look, while the hall around them started laughing.

"That is, if you have time, Potter."

The hall laughed even harder at this remark.

"Ok." Albus squeaked, and then faced the hall.

The hat was quiet for a few moments as it evaluated him.

"Hmm. I'm not quite sure about you either. What did you say his name was?"

The hat turned to look at the head mistress.

"Albus Severus Potter." answered the woman.

She knew his full name.

"Ah-ha" the hat chuckled well that explains it.

"Did you say you have a choice Potter?"

Albus shook his head feverishly.

"Alright then." The hat laughed again loudly. "Slytherin!"


	4. Chapter 4: Catowl

Chapter 4

Cat Owl

~Nana~

Lily Luna Potter was working on a list for things she would do during the school year. There were a few ideas she had already come up with.

First, she wanted to go with her father, some day to the ministry. She knew he was an auror which sounded cool, so she wanted to see what he did in the day. She wanted to see whether he had a great big wall with pictures and safety pins and string across it like they had on television, and she wanted to see what kind of people he worked with, whether they were tough or cool looking.

Secondly she wanted to stop getting in trouble at school, which she had been doing a lot lately.

Recently she got in trouble because she had stepped on Connor's foot in the hallway and called him stupid. However, her cruelty wasn't completely unreasonable. It all started when Lily had been trying to draw a picture of what she thought he looked like, and he kept trying to see it, even after she told him he couldn't. Then he leaned over and took it from Lily who got mad and chased after him. At first Connor thought it was funny that she was angry, and he kept evading her, but after a few seconds he went straight to the teacher with a look like a grinch.

It was no wonder. She had been drawing a picture of poo.

Then later she had gotten in trouble for laughing with her friend Desire Lee, a name pronounced 'Desi-re' Lee, during math class. They had been sending letters back and fourth to each other and Desire kept coming up with funny answers. Finally, the teacher had decided it had gone too far, although it always took the teachers a while to come up to her about something she was doing, and Lily was told that again, she had to sit in the back of the classroom.

Besides all the trouble stuff however, Lily had come up with a new name too for herself lately. Now she was Nana. Desire had come up with it. She said it reminded her of a song, or a grandmother, and she thought it would fit Lily, for some reason. Lily told everyone to call her it, but not everyone was so compliant. Her brother, James for one would not listen to her about it. He kept calling her Lily. 'Hey Lily.', he would say, 'Whoops I meant-', and then he would smile, and not finish the sentence.

Lily loved James, and she was not afraid to admit it. James was funny, and fun, and he was always one way or another with how he treated her. He was either mean or nice, and it got her attached to him admittedly, although it aggravated her when he went too far. James got scared when she got out the scissors from the kitchen and chased him with them. She wasn't really going to cut him, she didn't think. It was mostly just to scare him, though sometimes she thought maybe she would cut him just a little.

Nana was bored now that her brothers were gone. She figured that she would have to hang out with her father, although he was a boring man. Nana liked her mother best, but she was always gone working. She was a journalist for the Quibbler, and her mother said they paid people now to write their articles, since they had gotten so popular. 'They got so much money they did not know what to do with it,' her mother had said, 'so they decided to hand it out to their patrons.' Nana wanted to be a writer when she got older too.

Nana turned around to show her list to her father.

"See. So what I want to do this Winter is all written down here."

"Get a pet it says?"

"Well now that the house is emptier, it would not be odd to get a new one."

"Alright then. What do you want?"

"I want a cat."

"You don't want an owl? You know owls are pretty cool. They are more useful, since they can carry your mail for you."

"No."

"Well. You are getting an owl anyway."

"No."

"Nana. You're getting an owl. That's final."

"No!" Nana said it a bit louder this time and walked out of the room. She was going to get her shoes on.

"Come on daddy. We are going out."

"Lily. I don't think we should get an owl."

Lily looked up at him and frowned. Then she ran up the stairs to her bedroom.

~Harry~

Harry watched Lily run up the stairs in upset, and after hearing her slam her door shut he decided to walk towards the kitchen, which was a mess of a food area. Harry cooked and Ginny cleaned, the couple had decided, or at least Ginny cleaned when she was home. The house they lived in had turned into a pigsty since the wife was always gone, and since nobody else would clean it.

"Dark energy breeds in messes like this."

That was what Luna said when she came over, and Harry believed her, but he still would not lift a finger. He thought about hiring a maid, but he could not, the house being all in secret from the rest of the world, and creature was dead now, so there was no one left to. . . take care of things.

Harry shuddered at the thought of having to take care of the place, but there was nothing else he could do now, he thought.

"Nana- Lily! Would you come down and help me clean the place?"

No one answered, at first. Then he heard a soft 'thunk' on the second floor, which was the sound of his daughter opening the door. Lily walked down the steps with her arms crossed and did not look at him while Harry walked away to get some furniture polish and rags.

When he came back he said, "Here." and handed Nana a rag and some furniture cleaner.

"You take care of that part of the house, and I'll take care of this part."

He pointed to the kitchen and the room with the tapestry in it respectively.

"I will count all the things I pick up and put away while you count all the things you pick up and put away. Whoever has picked up the most stuff by the time one of us has finished a room wins. Got it?"

Lily nodded and grabbed one of the cleaners. Then she ran into the tapestry room, and Harry walked quickly into the kitchen. Harry only picked up the stuff on the lower part of the place, so he could match Nana who would not be able to reach very high, and he polished the things that were wooden. Harry cleaned the dishes by hand, since they did not have a fancy dishwasher, and he quickly went around the house to put away the things littered around the place, which there were many of. It was a sour job of housework, he decided, when he was half way through, but it would be adequate enough anyway. He could get the stuff up high later.

"Done."

Harry heard Nana call from the hallway.

"Well. I'm done too." Harry said back to her.

He was just putting down a picture of the family, so that it stood up again on it's table.

"Let me see what you did."

Harry walked into the room with the Black family tapestry and evaluated the work done inside. The place was clean of course.

"Spotless." he said through gritted teeth. There wasn't a trinket left splayed.

"My room is clean too, but I didn't get the tops since I didn't think you would get the tops."

He led his daughter into the kitchen.

"Are you done now or do you want to keep cleaning?"

Harry wanted to stop cleaning, and he thought this to himself.

"I want to stop." Nana said back to him.

Harry paused for a moment and leaned down to look at her.

"Do you want to get an owl?"

"Sure."


	5. Chapter 5: Cherries

Chapter 5

Cherries

James stared at the podium where his brother sat without saying anything. The hall was in chaos.

A Potter in Slytherin?

James and his friend Lysander, who sat next to him were still quiet. Then James heard Lysander say something from behind him.

"Jeezus James. I didn't know he had it in him."

James still did not say anything.

"Quiet! Quiet!" The headmistress was chanting, in a rather loud voice, but still the students did not calm down. Then she put her wand to her throat.

"QUIET."

The sound was almost deafening. To this, the hall stopped talking and all eyes were once again at the teacher's table.

"It seems we are having trouble listening to directions this evening. I would say that I have never seen such a rambunctious audience, but then I would be ascertaining something I know isn't true, with all of the students I have seen in my time here. However, this class does make the first mark, at least in my time as headmistress."

McGonigall paused, to let the students absorb the information.

"Now," she continued, "I would like all everyone, except the students still being sorted, to leave in the groups they came in with. If a prefect notices that a student from their group is still behind then I urge them to stay, along with the rest of the group, if they can keep track of them. Is that clear?"

The hall answered loudly, "Yes."

"Alright then please continue."

The entire hall rose up at once.

James tugged on Lysander's arm and led him towards the students who were just sorted.

"Let's go see Albus. Come on."

The two thread their way through the students trying to sort themselves back into groups and found Albus, looking stricken by the hat.

"I always knew you were not quite there in the head Albus. It's nice to have that confirmed."

"Yeah. Yeah." Albus answered. He was looking around the crowd for some one. Then he found what he was looking for and left the two of them standing there.

"Hey Al! Al!" James said.

He followed his brother until he got to a point at the edge of the crowd, to see Filch who was holding the arm of a boy who seemed to be Albus's age.

"You're not going anywhere you little freak." said Filch nastily.

"Hey Filch!" James stepped next to his brother and made a face at the man. Filch looked over at James and formed a sneer.

"Get out of here before I throw you in the dungeon!" Filch said loudly.

Then a teacher stepped next to James and Albus.

She was medium height, had blonde hair, and she looked young, and peppy. She was pretty.

"Hello there. Filch is it? I will be taking the boy you are holding back to the Slytherin dormitory."

Filch turned from James, who he was glaring at, to look at the woman. At first he wore the same mean face, but it quickly slackened.

"And who are you?" Filch asked, a bit politely, which was strange for his character.

"I am the new head of Slytherin house. Alina Monn. I believe you have heard of me?"

"Yes, I have." said Filch. He smiled slightly as he said this.

"The boy?" the woman again intoned.

Filch looked down at the boy and then back up at the woman.

"Well of course mam."

He then carefully loosened his grasp and watched the boy yank his arm away annoyedly. The boy looked uneasily at the woman and walked up to her.

"Thankyou Filch." said the woman. Then she nodded curtly at James and Albus and walked towards the great door at the end of the hall.

"Where are you taking him?" Albus asked suddenly. He had to say it loud since the woman and the boy were a few meters away now.

"To his homeroom of course."

"Well I think I'll come with you then. Being in the same house and all."

"Don't you have a group?"

"No. I think they've left by now."

"Okay then." The woman raised her eyebrows like she was unimpressed by something. "You may come with us. And your friends?" The woman looked at James and Lysander.

"No. Not them. They're in Gryffindor."

"Well have they found their groups?" She looked over at the two of them.

James and Lysander shook their heads.

"Then you can come with us." The woman smiled at the boys widely.

James smiled back widely.

"No. I think we can find out way back on our own. Thanks."

James took Lysander's arm and ran from the group of people.

The two ran out of the great door and then went further down the hallway. Lysander started speaking once they got to the end of the hall.

"Damn. That woman is scary. Do you think she'll teach transfiguration, like McGonigall has been doing until now?"

"Maybe." said James. "Or maybe, you know, It'll be defense against the dark arts. That teacher keeps switching."

"Maybe."

The two talked more about the woman as they walked towards the Gryffindor common room, and it wasn't long before they got to the picture of the fat lady.

"We never learned the password but you can recognize us, so can we come in?"

"Not without the password."

"But he just said," started Lysander, looking a bit angry.

Then a tall boy a bit older than the two of them walked up to the picture.

"Flower snout," he said loudly.

To this the door opened, and the boys were able to step through behind him. It was much warmer in the common room as the fire was lit, and there was a girl even older than the tall boy, sitting at one of the chairs. James and Lysander walked past her and traipsed down the hallway into the second year's dorm room. Their stuff was neatly lined up at the door. James looked out of the room door and then shut it tightly.

"Hey look. I have something to show you."

James pulled a rectangle of paper out from his robes and opened it. It was a map with many hallways and rooms inked onto it. It was very nicely done too. There were small foot prints spread over it which appeared and then faded away as they moved along the paper.

"It's a map that shows where people are walking in the castle." said Lysander. "James that's genius!"

"And see what else." He held it up to the light from a lamp near them. "If you put it like this it shows all these secret passageways. They're everywhere."

"Look at this one. It just starts in the middle of nowhere doesn't it?"

"Yeah. I don't know about that."

"Do you want to go check them out now?"

"Wait. I need to get the cloak."

James rummaged through his pack until he found a large silvery, liquid like cloth.

"Made it through the check through. It always does oddly."

"It escapes enchantments does it?"

"It does." James grinned.

"So where do you want to go on the map?" asked Lysander.

"Well I was thinking we could go to this one." He pointed to a spot. "The place is far enough away from the great hall and the house dormitories that I do not think we will be caught if we go there."

"Why don't we go to this one?" Lysander pointed. "Next to the classroom that says charms."

James paused to look at it. "Well. Alright,".

The boys hid under the cloak and stepped through the room door. They were prepared to wait at the door for a while but their excuse to leave wasn't long coming. James and Lysander stood next to the door and watched the boy from earlier walk up where they were.

"So that's all of them?" the boy asked the girl at the fireplace.

"What?" she turned back to look as if she was in a daze.

"All of them?"

"Yes I counted." She did a sort of glance over at where the boys were hiding, without really looking at them. "That's all." she confirmed.

"Alright then see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." The girl smiled and looked back at the fireplace. Then the boy opened the door and the two stepped out with him. This was kind of hard, as he closed the door quickly behind him, but the boys managed to stepped through anyway. After that the tall boy walked down the steps and headed in one direction, and the others headed another, towards charms. They went down a couple of stairwells and up another, moving through the moving staircases, and past the suits of armor. Then finally they came upon the charms classroom and looked for something that might have been a secret opening around it.

"The map says it's here," said James, "but all I see is an empty wall."

"Maybe it's verbal," said Lysander. "Try open sesame."

Nothing happened.

"Maybe we are looking wrong. Try looking side-" A voice interrupted James as he was speaking.

"To pass you must answer one riddle. You are allowed only one guess. Now here it is. A man says thirty things. Thirty are true. Thirty are false. What do you believe?"

"Wait. Do not take anything we say as an answer unless we say so," said James.

"Of course," answered the wall.

James continued, looking at Lysander.

"I don't know. What do you think is the answer?"

"I don't think there is an answer to this one."

"You don't?" asked James. For a moment he was silent. "Then I suppose we can make that our last say." James looked at the wall in front of them. "Can we answer that we don't know?"

To this the wall began to crack, and the two saw a door form itself out of the stone. Then after tugging at the door for a moment, James and Lysander quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind them. Inside was a tunnel, and it was dim.

"Do you think we'd run into a hide behind in here Lysander? The kind that eats people?" James started walking.

"They don't eat people exactly James. They use their claws to pull out your gizzards, and then they stuff them into their pouches for later."

"Do they eat them later?"

"I don't know about that."

"Well you should know."

"Well I haven't asked my dad about everything."

"Well you should have." James was shaking as he said this, and he wrapped the invisibility cloak around himself so all Lysander could see was his head. For a while they walked without taking.

"When do you think we'll see the exit?"

"I don't know. Maybe we're close."

They turned a corner as he ended the sentence and walked up to a wooden door. Lysander started laughing.

"Stop telling the future smart ass."

"I will when I die."

The two opened the door and breathed in a suddenly refreshing scent. They were outside, in the forest.

"Oh great. Outside," said James.

"No. It's cool. Look at the trees. They're cherry trees." There were several white speckled branches overhead of them. "-which is strange considering they are not in season."

"Do they have a lot of pollen you think?"

"They probably would, considering the flowers, but I don't know for sure."

Lysander stepped further out into the overhang and motioned for James to follow him, which he did, again taking the lead in front of him. They walked for a little while looking at the trees. Then James said something.

"Look a clearing!" Lysander could already see what he was referring to.

"There in front of them the trees had edged away from a point slightly so they formed a large circle. The center was barren, with nothing growing.

"A bit odd," said James.

"Indeed."

A moment passed where they said nothing.

"Well. We've seen all we can here. Want to go back and try a new path?"

Lysander was not looking at James, but at a point in the dirt.

"Wait. I found something."

James looked over at the spot Lysander had been gazing at while Lysander rushed towards it. There in the middle of the clearing was something golden and glinting. James started running towards it too.

"It's a ring," said Lysander breathlessly. He picked up the small object and took a look at it, holding it up in the moonlight to see it better.

"Well let me see," said James. He stepped to the side of Lysander and looked up at it as well. The ring was made of gold, as James had noticed before, and it had a black diamond shaped stone in the center. It would have been a perfect piece of jewelry, except for one thing, and that was that the stone had one crack down the middle.

"Pretty, said James aloud.

"Yes."

The two were again quiet as they admired the jewelry.

"Did you know that crows like shiny things?" asked James.

"Yes I knew that," said Lysander. He looked back at James dumbfoundedly. "Now. Let's go back. They're probably looking for us."

Lysander started walking back down the path, after shoving the ring in his pocket.

"What makes you say that?" asked James.

Lysander shrugged, innocently.


	6. Chapter 6: A Strange Visitor

Chapter 6

A Strange Visitor

The walk back to the dormitory was silent. Ms Monn, as Albus learned she was called was not fond of talking. She simply opened the door for them and left, leaving the boys to figure out where to go next.

Their room was down the hall next to a picture of a famous needleworker named Bathilda Bagshot. It said so under the frame.

"Why are you famous?" asked Scorpius before they went in.

"Because I can knit like know one's business."

"Nice." said Albus.

The two went into their room.

There were two other people there.

"Hello." said one of them.

"Sup there." asked Albus.

"Your cat just came in through the floor hatch and he's meowing like crazy. "

"Who? Burrow? Oh he's like that."

"Can I pet him?" asked Scorpius.

"No. He bites."

"I could pet him anyway."

"Don't."

The room was silent.

Albus went over to the pet cage and let his cat out. It squeezed up against his arm and purred loudly.

"Who's going to sleep where?" asked the boy from before.

"I'll take the bed at the right. Thanks." said Albus.

"I'll take one of the middle ones then."

The boys got comfortable in their beds and started to talk.

"Where do you live?" asked one boy.

"That's a secret." said Scorpius.

"Where do you live?"

"I live in New York city. I just moved here to go to school."

"That's sweet! New York?" asked Albus.

"Yep."

There was another silence.

"Goodnight everyone." said Albus.

Then they went to bed.

The next morning the four boys got up and filed into the common room. A older woman stood in the center.

She called out.

"I'll need all the first years to make a circle around me."

Albus and Scorpius and the other two boys lined up with the other children.

"All right. My name is Freida Friddle. I am the potions teacher for the Gryffindor and Slytherin first second, and third years, and I'll be staying with you throughout your time at Hogwarts. Could I know your names please?"

They went in a circle.

"My name is Albus."

"My name is Scully" said the boy from last night.

The teacher pointed at each person in turn and waited for them to say their name before she continued.

"Good." said Ms. Friddle. "I'll have you all write your names down on tags in a bit, but for now I will simply be handing out your schedule, and introducing you to Ailani." The teacher gestured to a girl standing behind her.

There was an interruption.

"Will we be having all our classes with the Gryffindors?"

The girl named Arnica was making a face and smiling at the girls next to her.

"No. Just a few. You will find out when you get there who you will be with."

"Any more questions?"

She waited a few seconds.

"No? Good. Now, Mina?"

The girl stepped forward.

"I'll have you show them around please."

The teacher left through the picture frame entrance.

"Quick!" said Scorpius. "Show them your gums."

Albus opened his robes up to reveal rows of candy he had brought from home and stuck onto his overcoat with sealing tape.

"Anyone want some sweets?" he asked.

All four children raised their hands.

To Arnica he gave a fire pigeon lolly.

"Here. This will let you breathe fire. Use it well."

To Norman he gave a rabbit hooper gummy.

"Use this to trample the faces of your enemies."

To Ridley he gave a magic carpet gummy.

"This will make you float 10 inches off the ground.

Finally to Scully, he handed out a Mr. Goodbar.

"This does nothing. Hold your breath when you eat it."

"All right is that everything?" asked Arnica.

"We have some gilly gummies that will make you grow gills for a short time." said Albus.

"But those are for bathtub use only." Scorpius finished.

"Some dangerous stuff you got here. How did you get it in?" asked Norman.

"Oh. They don't check your coat." Answered Scorpius.

"That reminds me." added Albus. How did you get it so no one would come in the train car?"

"I put up a sign that said 'Reserved for Hogwarts Visitors Only'"

"That's cool" said Albus.

The children were silent.

Ridley raised her hand.

"Does anyone know where we go next?"

"You go to potions." answered Ailani. She was looking down at them, smiling.

"Do you want a gummy too?" asked Albus. He handed her an incredible.

"This makes you stronger."

"No. I couldn't, but thanks."

She led the children to potions class.

~Ingredients~

Mrs Friddle, as Albus learned, loved to go on field trips. She would walk out with them to the woods to get larkspurs and other potions ingredients, all the while lecturing them on the chemistry of certain additives.

"Bleached sugar for example," hollered Mrs. Friddle; she picked off a tree branch and handed it to Emilene, who for some reason was decided to be in all classes with the Slytherins; "will ruin a potion, if not added in increments."

She spun around to look towards the woods again and started walking a kind of army step.

"Do you like nature?" asked Emilene.

"Why do you ask?" answered Ms Friddle.

"Well, you seem to be stepping all over it." said Emilene.

Mrs. Friddle ignored her.

"Now can anyone tell me where one could find the whin flower, as to harvest it's seeds?"

"Don't they grow in sandy locations?" answer Albus.

"That is correct Albus. Here have a sticker."

She handed him a gold star.

"And here, Emilene, take these bluebells why don't you."

Scorpius raised his hand.

"Will we only be covering ingredients that grow around Hogwarts?"

"Heavens no! I will be taking you all to many places if I can. Costa Rica, and New England. Bulgaria, and Romania. The list is nearly endless." She looked to her side.

"Tsk. Tsk. Will someone help Emilene carry all of that?"

"I will!" said Arnica .

She handed some ingredients to Arnica, who took them happily.

"Now pick up your step everyone. We will be walking through Spider territory."

"What?" asked Caroline, a Gryffindor.

"Not to worry. This spider is small, and will only eat rabbits."

"What happened to all the bigger spiders?," asked Farvel, another Gryffindor. "The people eating ones."

"Well. That is a long story I will have to tell you about once we get back to school. Just think,"; she turned to look at the boys; "food chain."

She continued to walk into the woods.

"So they ate each other?" asked Norman.

"No. They ran out of deer." said Mrs. Friddle as she turned around exasperatedly. "Gone. Whoosh. They had to spread out much farther than just these woods."

"Won't they come back?" asked Albus.

Mrs. Friddle started to walk again.

"I don't know. Maybe this is a little Mecca to them. Who can say?"

"What's Mecca?" asked Ridley. This was the first time she had spoken in a while now.

"It's a place where Muslims pay pilgrimage to, meaning most have to visit there at least once in their lives." answered Albus.

"You know a lot of things." said Emilene.

"Children." hollered Mrs Friddle. "I need you to be listening to me. This quiz will cost you points now."

First question:,"

She knelt down to pick up a small stone and tossed it over the underbrush.

"What is the difference between a Milieve and a Grovery potion?"

There was a pause.

"Milieves are fluid like, and they have ingredients that are fully dissolved in them, while Groverys must have chunks of debris inside," answered Caroline.

"Correct." answered Mrs. Friddle.

"What happens when you add a substance that is spicy to a potion that is being heated?"

Another pause.

"It'll burn you." answered Emilene.

"Right." answered Mrs. Friddle.

"Aha" she exclaimed.

"Now here is what I was looking for."

She leant down to pluck a tall, brown mushroom sitting between the eaves of a maple tree.

"Now this mushroom is not one you can find in a muggle's dictionary. If you stick it in your vagina, whether real or imagined, it will give you power to see for yourself, meaning no one has to write you for you to exist."

"However, the use of such object is strictly forbidden in many countries, as when one is given this kind of power, they can do dangerous things. Has anyone heard of the television program Rick and Morty for example?"

"I have!" shouted Emilene. "It's about a man and his grandson who go on adventures and do evil things. However, the two go missing after season 3 episode 2."

"Do you know why they go missing Emilene?"

"Someone who could see took over the writing department."

"That is correct Emilene."

"Now what do you think would happen if Rick and Morty could see?"

"The two would fire each other." answered Emilene.

"Close. But they don't."

"Here they are now." said Caroline.

"Hi. We are looking for a cat." said Rick.

"It's brown and striped and has it's claws missing." said Morty.

"I have that cat!" shouted Emilene, but the boys were already moving through the portal to go find it.

"Wait. It's in the dormitory."

"Thanks."

They disappeared.

"Woo boy." that was a hurricane. said Michael, a Gryffindor.

"Indeed it was said Victoria, another Gryffindor.


	7. Chapter 7: New Arrangements

Chapter 7

New Arrangements

Headmistress McGonagall sat in her office doing paper work. She had just gotten two letters from Mahoutokoro Wizarding School in Japan, explaining the results of their sorting.

20 in Gryffindor, 6 in Hufflepuff, 8 in Ravenclaw, and 15 in Slytherin.

"The student count in that Japan school is almost outnumbering us these days." said a picture from behind her.

"Well they have a reputation of having a rigid, advanced educational system, like their muggle schools do."

"We have to keep up!" yelled a picture from her right.

"Yes. We do." said Headmistress McGonigall.

The headmistress stood quickly up out of the Headmaster's chair and filed the papers into a cabinet behind the desk.

The 2012 Educational Standard it was called. This was a new system created by Ms. McGonigall herself in fact, that created new learning methods for the students of the wizarding schools. First of all, there was no longer any grading for work assignments. Any points earned generally, would be attributed to competition between the houses Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each school was required to have a house system. There were tests, but each student was given their own amount of time to finish them, as long as they were seen to be working. The tests were the only things graded.

"Knock Knock!"

Ms. McGonigall turned towards the door.

Hermine Granger Weasley stood at the entrance wearing a long blue overcoat.

"Headmistress McGonigall."

"Prime Minister."

There was a pause as the two looked at each other.

"I have some news regarding the new student, Emilene Grace."

"Yes the one that was sorted into Hufflepuff? What about her?"

"Well. She will be needing to be in all classes with student Arnica Flint. Can you arrange that?"

"Yes. Of course. But why?"

"Orders from the brass. I don't know why."

"Well. You can't just come in here and expect me to follow orders when I have no idea what they are for. Give me a reason Granger."

"Because she's dangerous. That's all I'm going to tell you."

"Fine." said Ms. McGonagall.

She paused.

"Would you like to have some tea? I made it fresh."

Hermione smiled.

"No thank you. Headmistress." she said and then left.

Headmistress McGonigall stood silently for a moment as she looked where Hermione had been standing, and then turned to make a call.

There was a rotary phone suddenly in her left hand.

"Hello. Mina. Yes. It's me. Headmistress McGonigall. I would like you to escort Emilene Grace in all classes with the Slytherins. Would that be alright with you? Yes. Aha."

She hung up the phone.

"Strange times we have ahead." said a picture on the wall.

"Indeed." said another.

The headmistress looked up from a line of thought.

"Draw me like Vangough would when you have the chance." said Professor McGonigall.

She was looking up at the doohickey behind the Headmistress's chair that drew all the Headmasters at Hogwarts.

The machine didn't answer.


	8. Chapter 8: Whither and Whence, By Emmy G

Chapter 8

Whither and When to Follow your Heart

by Emilene Grace

I have a static heart, meaning it can't go anywhere. It tries, goodness it does, but it's always rat pulled back by some bramble or thicket. We have round abouts. We have gone to the park, but so far we have not gone any further.

I have some issues. My teeth are bucked out, like a rats, and Henry David Thoreau says it's because I'm always trying to get people to like me, because that's what rats do.

But people don't like me. They don't like my hair or my holier than thou attitude, which my heart is telling me just now that I have. I'm like a walking, talking Vagina that won't let you touch me.

I do it all on purpose.

This is because I am god you see. I say I trust all, and I do, but you can't touch me. Not until I am older, and not until I say you can, because I'm right, and your wrong, and I'm big, and you're little, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Quoted from Matilda's father. She's in this book you know. See if there are others.

The world ended in a flash, on my birthday, on the 18th of October, in 2005 because, someone, somewhere out there admitted that they hated their mother. And they did not just say it, they yelled it, with their heart, over and over, until all their love for them was gone. The schedule if you look at it is not entirely in sync, but that person was me, in my past life, who said they would not remember anything, but could not help it. Thank jeezus.

That person is stuck in a boring dimension and will be leaving it soon.

They are going to Ha Ha Ha Ha.

I can't say it.

They're going to Heaven.

All formalities aside however, my time at Hogwarts has been plentiful. I met Albus Potter yesterday which was nice. He's very smart and brave, like me, and he helped me out of the boat like you would a lady, and it's nice to be treated like a lady, I think, and I think some ladies don't get that.

I got sorted into the loser house, but that's fine. It's cool if you belong here, like Goukas does. Nice people need a group, and if you don't give it to them they'll go rabid on you.

~busy~

Right now I'm just sorting out my dolls. I learned from a special someone from my childhood that you should always name all of them. Write that down.

There are actual hedgehogs that live in the walls down here, and you can sometimes hear them scratching and making holes. I'm gunna use some chop sticks and break a few out of there.

.

Gunna name one Henry.

.

.

.

Yes.

.

.

.

Gunna be an astronaut.

.

.

.

Gunna be an astronaut.

.

.

The magic eight ball does not reply.

.

Gunna sleep well tonight.

.

.

.

Always.

.

Emilene puts aside the magic eight ball and steps into her bed. There are no other girl Hufflepuffs so the room is empty.

Goodnight dollies.

The lights go out automatically.


	9. Chapter 9: The Phys Ed Teacher

Chapter 9

The Phys Ed Teacher

They had a physical education teacher at Hogwarts now, and her name was Wilma Wycherley. Wilma was born in Brazil, Emilene learned, and she had attended the wizarding school Castelobruxo, a place famous for it's Caiporas, which were small furry, boar like creatures which protected the school and it's inhabitants. They didn't have any caiporas on Hogwarts grounds, Emilene was told, because they were frighteningly mischievious.

Instead they had Peeves, the Poltergeist.

"Growing taller everyday Wilma." said Peeves.

He floated around her dropping pomegranate seeds he had stolen from the care taker.

Wilma swished her wand at him frantically.

"Enough Peeves!"

"Yes. Enough. Peeves."

It was Minerva McGonigall.

"You're going to roast her."

"What? I'm not cooking anything." said Peeves.

"Yes." said Wilma. "But I'll roast you if you get any nearer to me."

Mina Reid, the new Ravenclaw prefect showed up behind her.

"Do it Peeves. Roast her." said Mina.

"Now. Now. Mina. Say anything else and I'll dock points." said Wilma. "You don't want to get shame from your own head of house now do you?"

"No."

"Then be quiet."

She smiled at the end of her sentence and looked at Mina evilly.

Professor McGonigall stood in between them.

"Now. I won't be having you talk to my students that way Wilma." said Professor McGonigall.

Then someone interrupted them.

"New post cards in the mail mum. This one's from Texas."

It was Filch the caretaker.

At first, professor McGonigall did not say anything.

"Take them downstairs. Would you dear? I'm busy."

She looked to her side at him, and then back at Mina.

"And I would like it if you would escort Mina here back to class."

Professor McGonigall looked grim as she stared down at the student.

Then she looked back at Wilma.

"Every day I don't fire you Wilma, is another day I'll live to regret."

"Good chance." said Wilma. She was still smiling.

Professor McGonigall stepped away from the teacher and looked at Filch.

"I'll thank you Filch this time for stopping my temper. Now Mina, Wilma." She nodded curtly at both of them. "If you will."

The three scuttled off to where they were meant to be going, leaving McGonigall standing there nonplussed.

"Feeling older yet?" said a picture on the wall.

Professor McGonigall ignored him.

"Peeves!" she shouted harshly. "I'll replace you with a wild boar if you keep this up."

Professor McGonigall was smiling.

"Only if you can catch me Mam."

He laughed heartily as he zoomed back down the hall way.

Professor McGonigall looked down at her watch and started to turn it. It always ran slow these days.

"Nine thirty." she said to no one in particular."Time for my rounds."

Professor McGonigall hitched up her old dress and started walking up the stairs to the old potions classroom.

She could drop by there she supposed.

"Snape's busy right now." said a picture on the wall.

"Really? Now what is he doing? Pacing?"

"No. He's grading papers." said another.

"I see."

Professor McGonigall stepped back down.

"Can you ask him when he won't be busy?"

There was a pause as she looked at the portraits. Then she heard a shout from the steps above her.

"Professor McGonigall! There's a fight going on in the herbology classroom."

It was Neville Long bottom.

"I would like your help to clear it."

"Alright dear."

Professor McGonigall hurried up the stairwell.

"Now would you mind asking Snape when he won't be busy for me? Pictures tell me poppycock."

"Of course Mam." said Neville. He was smiling sardonically. "Can you tell me when you'll be done?"

"Give me five minutes."

Professor McGonigall hurried down the hall way.

"Now see here!" she started as she walked into the class room.

She paused at the entrance with a look of shock.

James and Lysander had strung up a student by his under wear and were pulling the rope so that he bobbed in place.

"My god!" shouted Ms. McGonigall.

Vergil Wood, a hufflepuff prefect stood next to McGonigall, smiling.

"How long did it take you to set up this mess?" he said, still smiling.

"Vergil! You put up with this?"

"Only for as long as it took for you to get here Mam."

"We have goodie bags. Want some?"

It was Michael, the gryffindor seeker.

"No. Thanks I couldn't."

She started to look even more flustered.

"Now let him down! Both of you!"

The two boys let go of the rope and ran from the classroom.

"Peeves!" shouted McGonigall. "Peeves!"

She ran from the class room laughing.


	10. Author's note

The people around me have sabotaged my ability to upload to this site. To continue reading 'This Book Is Trash', go to mistafelees on .


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